If a carpet could speak what would it say and would you listen to its guidance.

Hello
I am Mr Carpet.
Let me introduce myself.

We have been brought together in your home but I am like your prized possession or investment and I need looking after.
Before I come to your home can I ask you to action a few things please?
This will assist us both in the long run.
Firstly before I arrive at your home the room I intend to live in it will need to be cleaned.
What do I mean about clean is this.
Hoover the empty room slowly removing as much dust as possible.
Then with a hot mop, mop the floor. This should help with the residue of dust particles left on the floor.
My fibres don’t like dust at all and hoovering and mopping before I get fitted in your room will certainly help in the long run.

I have seen many of my relatives who complain about their dirty edges, and I don’t want this to happen to me, especially if you decided to have a light colour carpet. It is sad to see some of my relatives discarded with this black edging disease.
Some carpet cleaners can remove this disease from your carpets but they can’t guarantee success or that it won’t return.
You see when fitted in your room and the floors have dust on them, then the carpet fitter puts the underlay down, and then the carpet everything is great. That new smell of carpet, and lovely plush pile.
As the months go by you will have vacuumed the carpet many times, thinking this is the best thing the carpet can receive between professional carpet cleaning dates.
All of a sudden there is that unsightly black mark.

How do they get there?
Well hoovering me is great. But am lay on top of the dust. As you hoover the dust vibrates to my edges. The dust is trying to climb out but can’t at first due to my backing. Slowly but surely this micro dust penetrates my backing and then starts to change my fibres colour. Please don’t let this happen.
Another tip you can do if you did not hoover before I was installed, is periodically pull me up from the edges and hoover the gripper rod and anywhere else the vacuum crevice can reach. I understand this is a pain, but I want to stay with you for a long time. In fact into my teens if possible.
What type of hoover do you use? I prefer one that has rotating brushes. This is great for me as I get a massage and we all love a massage. My fibres are spread all over the place and the sand, grit and hair which is tangled in me is easier to remove. To ensure that I am grit free why don’t you hoover slower than normal and hoover in all directions? What would you prefer, a 5 minutes massage of ten minutes?
One of my disadvantages being a carpet and this seems to be a genetic trait is that I can hold onto smells. It’s not me who causes me to smell it’s you.
You will walk on me in either you bare feet or socks from time to time. You have sweaty feet. Even the queen does. You have animals, kids, and a husband. I bet the day we met to our first anniversary my odour has changed a lot. In fact some of my relatives smell of alcohol, alas those homeowners are used to the smell. May I suggest that you wear slippers or other foot covering devices, but make sure the soles are clean? Black socks, arrrhhhhh hate them. Are any carpets in the house have black bobbles on them from people wearing black socks? No matter what amount of hoovering you can’t get rid of them. A little tip I have heard is in the more severe cases, a man’s beard trimmer.
Normally the areas of high traffic in the household are the stairs, unless you live in a bungalow of course.
I hear on the grapevine to clean a flight of stairs the cost is £30.00. Don’t hold me to it though.

Let us move on.
It’s not my fault I get dirty, have stains. It is your fault for not looking after me.
We don’t need to fall out over it though I know of a great carpet cleaning company that my relatives recommended who can remove all the dirt, stains, and smells, and put a smile back into my fibres.
My relatives are like humans, we are all different in some way.
We may be manmade, natural, or a mix, size, and colour.
But we just want to be treated equally.
Take my Uncle Wilton and Auntie Axminster for example.
They can be a menace to clean. Both lovely on the surface but underneath if you over wet them they can shrink if they are over wet. People who are untrained and attempt to clean my Aunt or Uncle will defiantly shrink them. This is why both like to be cleaned by a professional carpet cleaner. They understand how my relatives feel if they get over wet, so my uncle and aunty like to be cleaned by way of dry cleaning, or low moisture if at all possible. This way of cleaning does get them a little damp, but the pros know how much moisture they can take. Do you remember The Gremlins, when they got soaked by water they went bananas, same principal.
My other relatives like cousin Polypropylene, and Nylon, and others are tough dudes. They can be roughed up a bit. Take a bit of heat, and water pressure. A bit like the hobnob biscuit. Tough in their own right.

If your dog or family member has an accident on me its best to act fast. Don’t leave liquids to soak through me, It not nice. In fact if you’re not quick enough that liquid could end up in my support act, my neighbour Mrs Underlay.
Mrs Underlay while great support for me, if she gets wet can start to smell. The smell happens as the liquid penetrates the underlay and can create mildew which is a cause of odour.

I aint cool with wiz on me so please react fast.
The carpet cleaners I have heard about seem to understand how I think and function, and can get the urine out of me. It’s not nice seeing Mrs Underlay being taken away, and a new neighbour put back. This will just increase the cleaning cost, and I know that’s not good for your wallet.

Dropped some food on me? Am not a bin you know?
Please pick up the solid. If a stain has been left help me out.
Instead of using those foams or other chemicals you can buy from the shops may I suggest the following home remedy?
Have a spray bottle with three quarters water, with one quarter of white wine vinegar. Spray that on me, don’t over wet me. Tickle the solution into my fibres and let it sit there for a few minutes and then place a towel on the stained area, and stand on the towel. Repeat this if needed. Don’t rub my fibres either, hate that, and it spoils my good looks.
I think some of those so called carpet cleaning solutions you can buy from the shops should be on the comedy channel, they are a joke, and can actually bleach or damage my fibres which is not cool.
If and when you do have me cleaned why don’t you consider protecting me after I have been cleaned?
The guys have a chemical which they spray on my fibres. What this does is if you do have an accident or spillage it gives you time to go to the kitchen, get a paper towel and uplift the liquid or solid that was dropped.
This stuff does not last for ever. Why not ask the carpet cleaner for the advantages of using this protector on me and also the costing. Sometimes when you have toddlers, or accident prone family members this may be something to consider.

I think I have spoken long enough. If you have any other questions about me why not give my friends at warrington carpet cleaners a call.
These dudes have known my mum, dad, and grandparents, so they have been around a long time and know a thing or two about carpet cleaning.
Just had a fibre text of my brother. Am looking forward to reading his cleaning tips for looking after rugs. His name is Persian.

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What would a carpet say if it could talk